34 Funny Whatsapp Status

34 Funny Whatsapp Status

Sometimes Its just Me‬ and a Talking Tom‬.

If your plan A doesn`t work, don`t sweat it. The alphabet has 25 more letters.

My life is currently buffering. 

When a door closes, you fu*king open it again because it's a door and that's how they work.

Smart phones, smart cars, smart televisions... when are they going to start making smart people?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

My love life will never be satisfactory until someone runs through an airport to stop me from getting on a flight.

Never make the same mistake twice, There are so many new ones, Try a different one each day.

My new voicemail: "If you have reached this recording, please hang up and text me.

I sprayed mosquito repellent on a mosquito. Now he’ll never have any friends...

Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it. 

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parents job.

I don’t get older, I level up.

You should be sober when you decide to get married, but drunk every minute after that.

I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.

I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.

At first it was "Okay" and then "ok" and now "k" and soon it will disappear and you`ll all regret it.

My girlfriend thinks I`m a stalker... Well, she`s not exactly my girlfriend just yet.

When i die, i want my tombstone to have free WiFI, so people visit more often.

It’s not weird to talk to yourself, it’s just weird when someone else hears you talking to yourself.

My wallet is like an onion. When I open it, I cry

Give me food and a pc with internet connection and you wouldn't hear about me for ages.

People say that love is in every corner……gosh! maybe i’m moving in circles.

Mosquitos are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.

is wondering why brain cells die, skin cells die, your hair follicle die, but fat cells live FOREVER?

A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there s nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home

Dear Girls, It's impossible to think that all guys are the same.. You haven't met every guy out there.

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money I`d just laugh and search with them.

Fall in love Visit both heaven and hell for the price of one.

Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can’t see.

When you hear your own voice recorded and think...omg I sound horrible.

When I like someone, I compare their last name with my first name.