53 Short Sarcastic Quotes

 53 Short Sarcastic Quotes

Here's my cup of care. Oh look it's empty.

You sound way more intelligent with your mouth shut.

I’m sorry I was talking, while you were interrupting me.

This is an inside joke and your on the outside.

Being right too soon is socially unacceptable.

We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time. 
-Vince Lombardi

Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.

A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it.

Call me anytime, I won’t be home.

You can’t face the problem if the problem is your face.

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

Look at my face and tell me if it looks like I care.

You sound better with your mouth closed.

I will always love the false image I had of you. 
-Ashleigh Brilliant

I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

In order to understand ideas at least brains are needed.
-Oswald Spengler

The lack of money is the root of all evil. 
-Mark Twain

Before talking please connect the tongue to the brain.

Have you used your brain today?

You say that so often that it lost its meaning. 
-Homer Simpson

I wish we were better strangers.

My door is Always open, so feel free to leave.

Nothing is illegal until you get caught.

Even the mind of a fool accepts the truth.

Don't be humble... you're not that great. 

People who know the least, argue the most.

Don’t follow my footsteps. I run into walls.

I can tell that you are lying, your lips are moving.

Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.

Some folks are wise and some are otherwise. 
-Tobias Smollett

You always do me a favor, when you shut up.

If I promise to miss you, will you go away?

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.

If you need space, work at NASA.

Fools also have their leaders.

Fools complain when they are taken as idiots.
-Gilbert Cesbron

The best ideas come out of stupidity.
-Karel Capek

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. 
-W. C. Fields

I don't recognize you.. I've changed a lot. 
-Oscar Wilde

Talk is cheap, but that's ok, so are you.

Life is too important to be taken seriously. 
-Oscar Wilde

I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

If fifty million people speak stupidity its still stupidity.
-Anatole France

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

Only ignorant people and fools never feel guilty.

I ain’t sleeping. I am just looking into my eyelids.

Sarcasm... because punching people in the face is illegal.

I'm not always sarcastic, sometimes I'm sleeping.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.